I'm in a Glass Case of Emotion

I dropped my laptop today.

The LCD screen cracked immediately and turned into a beautiful rainbow of colors that you may see one misty morning as you are prancing through a field with the rays of sunshine bouncing off the dew in the roses all around you.
Unfortunately, I did not immediately feel all warm and fuzzy inside. No, it's safe to say my insides quickly turned ice cold and I started cursing like a sailor.

I'm pleased to announce that the 5 stages of grief also apply to the catastrophic loss of the LCD screen on a geriatric computer. I know, I lived it.

Denial: "No way. I refuse to accept this. The screen still works! It still works! It's good, it still works!"
Anger: "You piece of shit computer. You're the worst computer of all time."
Bargaining: "Please work. I will give you all the cookies in the world! I'll clear my cache! I'll move my iTunes to a thumb drive!"
Depression: "Simon? *sniff* I broke my laptop monitor. *sob* I NEED A NEW ONE! *hysterical sob* Why, God? Whyyyyyy??"
Acceptance: "At first, I was afraid. I was petrified. I kept thinking that I could never live without you by my side. I will survive."

Then I bought a 40 from the packie and poured some out for my homie, the Dell Inspiron 1300 from 2005.

And THEN I figured out how to make it work, just like Tim Gunn would say.

So today, I went from angry, to inconsolable, to neutral, to ecstatic. And it only took an hour!



Isn't science great?

Another Open Letter

(I've been reading a lot of those today...)

Dear Nice Red Haired Lady at Immigration with the Yellow Sweater,

Thank you. No really, thank you.

The last time I was at Immigration, one of your colleagues denied our request to enter to register as a married couple, based on the existence of a British passport held by someone who's name I won't mention. I thought it was quite odd, considering this unnamed person happened to be BORN in Ireland, which usually means that they are, indeed, a citizen of said country. Not in that case.

Maybe it was because the previous officer saw two tall people (6'4 and 5'11 respectively) coming towards them, and knowing that one was American, immediately thought we were here to take over. Common misconception, I know. Not all Americans want to take over everything. So we got the Irish passport and headed back to Immigration last night.

Now, back to you, Nice Lady with Red Hair and Yellow Sweater. You are a classy lady with a heart of gold. Thank you for all you did for us last night, and thank you for directing me to the Apollo House for Step #3 in the "Let's Go Immigrate!" part of my life.

If I knew your name, I would send you flowers.

Sincerely yours,

Elizabeth J Robbins-Connor

No explanation needed

A brief duet to the theme of "Out of This World":
"Would you like to swing on a star?" -me
"Oh woah woah" -SJC
"Carry moon beams...(fades off)" -me
"HOME IN A JAR. Jesus." - SJC

And that, my friends, is the man I am going to grow old with.

"Good to be back in Burbank. Burbank, California."

My good friend Torrey and I took a class in college in which we tried to lighten the mood of each lecture with our whimsical jokes, Goonies references, and Mr. Burt Reynolds references. Needless to say, we were anchored in a sea of idiots. Nobody got it.

Torrey made my day by posting a video of my favorite Will Ferrell as Chicago Cub's broadcaster Harry Caray. (He was the Joe Castiglione of Chicago.)

In honor of Torrey's neverending hilarity, I decided to post my favorite Will Ferrell video of all time. Will Ferrell's impression of the infamous Robert Goulet is nothing short of amazing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

will ferrell as robert goulet on conan o'brien


In other news, Happy Birthday to you, Bill Shakespeare.

Youth is wasted on the young.

This morning while in the shower, I realized that I have had the same song stuck in my head while showering for the past 2 weeks.

Normally I wouldn't mind, especially if it was "My Best Friend's Girl" by the Cars* or "Rocky Mountain Way" by Joe Walsh*, but when I figured out that my inner monologue was serenading me with "The Song That Never Ends" as sung by myself in the form of a belligerent 6 year old, I decided, "There's got to be a better way."

After convincing myself that the new song in my head was the theme to "Perfect Strangers," guess what creeped up on me again..

This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that never ends
yes it goes on and on my friends...

You can't win them all. Happy Tuesday everyone.



*For Reference:

Open Letter Time!

Dear Lost,

I'm glad you're coming back. And this week, too! Your writers are incredibly efficient and you must be thankful to have such talent on your show.

Just one small bone to pick. We ex-Pats living abroad are NOT second class citizens. Why must you insist on treating us this way? Just because we don't LIVE in the USA anymore doesn't mean we don't have feelings. Why do we have to wait until May 4th to see an episode? Don't you know what happens on May 4th? Yeah, "Lost," I'll be in England for a wedding. Not great timing, but I suppose I can let it go this once.

If, and believe me, this is a big IF, you can somehow get SkyOne or RTE Two to play the episodes the nights they air in Dublin time, all will be forgiven. Okay great thanks.

Love,
Liz

PS - Don't hate. Participate.
PPS - In case my husband asks, I don't watch you because of the "beefcake" leading men you have on your show, such as Sawyer, Desmond, and Locke, I watch because I like the show. A lot. Maybe too much for my own good. But that's not important.

Welcome to the neighborhood

We have a new neighbor.

His name is Petey the Pigeon and he's been hanging out on the windowsill across the way from us. He'd been there for about 4 hours before he decided to pay us a visit.


He took particular liking to Simon.

Welcome to the neighborhood, Petey.


May your dreams fly as high as your wings will take you.

Hey kids, stop chewing tobacco!

That dark haired saucy minx in the turquoise sweater is my sister. I've never been prouder!

On Irish Twilight

8:23pm Dublin Time

"You know, it's still so light out, you could drive without your headlights on." - me
"But it would be wise to have them on anyway." - Simon

Always the voice of reason.

A Weekend in April

A select few photos documenting this past weekend:

Are You There God? It's Me, Elizabeth.

Dear God,

I hope that this weekend goes smoothly and there are no hiccups along the way. Though there are bound to be hiccups, I hope that they're not too distracting. All this talk about hiccups is making me glad I don't have them.

Also, God, please ensure that going through passport control at Dublin Airport is smooth sailing, not like the Irish Sea on a recent jaunt to Wales, or the Irish Atmosphere on a recent flight to the Isle of Man.

And one more thing, God, please help me to find a job once I return to Dublin City Centre.

In return I can go to church again, or stay away. Your call.

I love you.

Love,
Me

My Mom

To the woman who walked up Mt. Washington with three daughters and one son in tow.

Happy Birthday Mama!!
I love you!!

Save the Barking Crab

Perhaps the greatest place to get a beer in the summertime, The Barking Crab is a staple in Boston. The city is trying to close it down for various reasons.

I think it's bogus. Leave it be, Boston. Leave SOME character in the city rather than phasing everything out to make room for condos.

I shall channel the legendary facial expressions of Katherine Robbins circa 1984 to make my point:

Practice makes perfect

This is my first attempt at photo tweaking genius with the poor man's Photoshop, Picasa. Maybe someday I'll get a new computer with photoshop. Some..day...



Anyway, I picked this picture because it's my absolute favorite.

Well here's another one.



And yes, I did go to the Blanche Deveraux School of Soft Touch.

Boooooooourns

Another beautiful day in Massachusetts.

It's raining so hard, I can see it bounce off the pavement looking like that part of the "3-2-1 Contact" intro where the drop of water hits the bowl of water. Just sped up 1,000 times.

For your reference:



I guess spring isn't coming this year. Maybe next year.

Oh the Drama of Suburbia

Tonight at my moonlighting career, the presence of police in the parking lot seemed to ruffle a few feathers. Apparently a dog was hit by a car and broke its leg. Luckily, a Good Samaritan found it and tried to nurse it back to health by calling in the Police, Animal Control, the President, and the Pope. I believe they called upon St. Pete to open up those pearly gates and let the light of Heaven shine down on this poor fallen dog.

Dogs seem to be pretty popular. And I get it – who doesn’t like some drooling, slobbering, shedding stink pit living in their house, doing nothing to contribute but demanding you feed it and keep it hydrated? (When a dog can wash dishes, let me know. )

The real drama of suburbia happened when all of the good townspeople would walk into the store and say in panicked voices, "Ummmm…. There are police cars in the parking lot."

Yeah – and they’re after YOU! RUN! GO!! HIDE!!!!

I would explain that a lost dog (who mows it's owner's lawn) was hit by a car and broke it's leg, but it's okay and they're just waiting for the owner to come pick it up to take to the vet so the dog can get a cast for all of it's dog pals to sign.

"Have you heard about Henry??"

Henry Wilson? The eighteenth Vice President of the United States?

"No, tell me about Henry."

"Weeelllll, Henry was lost, and the family hired helicopters," (cue "For Love of Money" by the O'Jays) "to circle the area looking for him. It was a waste of money though – they found him a few days later dead in the swimming pool."

Now, even a heartless dog disliker like myself feels sad about that.

So, I raised a toast to Henry and the Broken Leg Dog. May Henry Rest in Peace and may Broken Leg Dog get well soon. And may I somehow find the way to appreciate dogs. That probably won't happen until the day after I appreciate horses, Garfield, and Chevy Chase. Which will coincidentally be the day after never.

Lame

Ahaha April Fools you're all so hilarious.

I think my FH said it best when he said, "The only day more lame than today is Valentine's Day."

I remember when I was in college and one of my friends "pranked" me by saying she was engaged. She actually got engaged a short time after.

So now, I may or may not be pranking you when I say:
I am getting married in 12 days.